In life and in marriage, those that do what they need to do consistently, are those that succeed. Very few people can lose weight and keep it off, for example, by following their diet one day out of 10. Marriages are the same way.
Some people, though, only want consistency in their marriage when it applies to their spouse. They want sex on a regular basis. They want their spouse to do their part cleaning the house every day. They want their spouse to be respectful and kind at all times.
But when it comes to their own behavior, they have a more laid-back attitude. If asked why they are not doing their part or keeping their promise, they will respond with “give me a break. I work hard all day long and I deserve some down time!” or something similar.
It’s not acceptable, though, when their spouse their spouse is tired and isn’t in the mood for sex or doesn’t want to clean the house or has a down day. All the sudden consistency is important, and things need to change!
A few key takeaways that can help you improve your consistency and as a side effect your life and marriage:
1. It’s understandable that sometimes due to circumstances we can’t do what we should do. For example, maybe we promised to take care of the children, so our spouse could relax but we came down with the flu and stay in bed all day.
What’s not acceptable, is to use these circumstances as excuses or to keep having something come up which keeps you from doing what you need to do. Just because you are sick today doesn’t keep you from taking care of the children tomorrow (or as soon as you feel better). Don’t delay or make excuses when you can’t deliver.
2. Be fair. If you want your spouse to be consistent in their behavior, you should be willing to be consistent as well. There has to be some give and take. Always look for win-win solutions.
3. Commit to consistency in all areas of your life. Use a planner or schedule to make sure that nothing falls through the cracks. Keep a record of your commitments and then keep them.
One of the best ways to get into the habit of consistent action is to take part in our Revive Your Marriage 30-Day Challenge. Every day you can choose from a number of options that will help you get closer to achieving that day’s goal.
Then, as you move on to the next day, you keep doing the things you did on previous days.
Give it a try and learn to build your life and marriage consistently.