Fall in Love Again
As the old saying goes, “love is a verb.” Love is something you do for others, not something that just happens. Love is proactive.
We have identified 10 actions and attributes that add to the feeling of love. These can be done by anyone that is willing to do them. Moreover, they should be done by those that are committed to building and preserving their marriage because these are the very actions that cause people to fall in love.
So, if you want to rebuild the love, rekindle the flame, and make your marriage hot again start loving your spouse by working on the 10 T’s. Show your love through your actions by living the 10 T’s as much as possible.
If you have been neglecting these acts of love or if your marriage is in bad shape, you may want to start slow in order to not overdo it and “smother” your spouse. If this is your situation, choose one or two areas to focus on first that you know your spouse will be able to accept. Then add more as time goes on.
Here is a quick overview of the 10 T’s:
1. Time: Most people spend a lot of enjoyable time together during the dating process, which helps them to build a connection. They go on dates, eat together, go to events together and can’t seem to get enough time together. Unfortunately, many promptly stop doing it as soon as they say, “I do.” And, when they do, love suffers.
2. Talk: Just like time, talking is normally easy and pleasurable before we get married. We share our hopes and dreams, our fears and feelings. We share jokes and stories and compare notes on everything under the sun. And the more we talked, the stronger our connection became, and love wasn’t far behind. After marriage due to the kids or work or other priorities, many of us quit talking. When we did, the demise of love started. If talking helped build our love before, it can do so again.
3. Trust: No one wants to be married to a liar or a person that they can’t trust. Trust is vital to feeling love. We want to be safe and when that sense of trust is broken, for whatever reason, it’s harder to love our spouse.
4. Touch: One important way we express and feel love is through touch. What couple, who is deep in love, doesn’t have plenty of sexual and non-sexual touching? Hugs, holding hands, kissing, sex, and more are all important to building and maintaining love.
5. Teamwork: We should be partners. No one is the “boss” of anyone else in a healthy relationship. We should be equals even though we may have different roles. When a spouse doesn’t do their part or is not a good teammate, it can seriously affect the feeling of love.
6. Treasure: When we treasure our spouse, we treat them just like we would a real treasure. We hope that the most important person in your life should is your spouse. Treasure them. Treat them like royalty.
7. Tenderness: Tenderness includes actions and feelings such as kindness, gentleness, respect, affection, etc. It’s more than being nice but that’s a great start. So often, we treat others better than we do our spouse. While relationships with others are important, if we neglect tenderness with our spouse, we may lose our marital relationship.
8. Thankful: Instead of looking or finding all the things that are wrong or lacking in your life or marriage, be grateful for all the good things. Find a reason to be thankful for your spouse and then express that appreciation in word and deed.
9. Trade-Offs: Successful negotiation, give and take, and compromise are important parts of a happy marriage. Look to create win-win situations instead of win-lose. When decisions are made that make one or both spouses angry (or sad), those negative feelings can have an effect on love. Luckily, if you are working hard on the 10 T’s, you’ll probably discover negotiations get easier.
10. Tenacity: These days, separation and divorce are way too common. This is a little confusing considering that in the beginning, both parties promise to love and endure to the end. Be willing to fight for your marriage and stick it out to the end. Take divorce or separation off the table and figure out how to rebuild the love. That love is the key to a long-lasting, happy marriage.
Paying attention to the 10 T’s will go a long way towards helping to rebuild the love, reignite the passion, and make your marriage hot again.
The Evolving Marriages program can help you:
- Learn all the tips and tricks to reignite the passion in your marriage
- Get the intimacy and sex life that you desire
- Discover the secret to getting all your most important emotional needs met
- Affair-proof your marriage – there will be no need to look outside your marriage to get what either of you want